


The Letter.

by CptnMatthewCrawley



Category: Emmerdale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 10,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24649363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CptnMatthewCrawley/pseuds/CptnMatthewCrawley
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 25
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

Aaron's POV. (AU).

I took the white envelope from the table where Cain had left it and opened it I swallowed hard here it was my first contact from Robert since he sent me those divorce papers I have yet to sign.

Unfolding the paper I scanned the first written words from my husband who I hadn't heard from in almost seven months since he was sent down for murdering Vic's rapist.

_dear Aaron,_

_I cannot begin to tell you just how sorry I am about how things have changed with my decision to cut contact with you like I did I didn't do it because I don't love you nothing could ever be further from the truth please believe that of me at least I haven't caught Covid 19 there hasn't been any cases here as of yet but we are in lockdown as is the rest of the world it would seem, the days are long here and I think of you often even if you think I wouldn't I am still in a single cell no one wants to share with me I must give off bad vibes or something._

_Anyway I must run to get this in the post._

_I promise to write again soon_

_I love you always remember that and never forget because you know._

_Love from_

_Your Robert_

_Xxx._

i swallowed hard and reread Robert's words before digging out a pad and pen and beginning to write a reply I must have started it at least seven times.

Cain came in just as another ball of paper bounced out of the bin and raised his eyebrows.

"He apologised." I explained and Cain nodded and gathered up the other attempts I had written and chucked them into the kitchen bin.

"He mentioned that he might phone soon he wants to talk to me said he has some news regarding his appeal." I added and Cain simply nodded

7.30pm.

I picked up my phone as a unknown number flashed across the screen and pressed the green button to answer I almost burst into tears as Robert's voice came onto the line.

"Hiya love, it's so good to hear your voice baby I've missed you so much." I whispered so that Liv wouldn't hear.

As we chatted and caught up I heard shouting in the background and Robert dropped his voice a few levels and I realized that the shouting was aimed at him.

"Who's that they shouting at you?." I asked and sighed when Robert was silent until the shouting had stopped.

"It's fine I'm used to it some of the guys in here don't take too kindly to people like me especially after I reported some of their behaviour to one of the guards." Robert said quietly.

Eighteen days later.

Robert's POV.

I sat up on my unmade bed as my cell door creaked open and breakfast appeared I glanced at the face of the guard and saw he was smiling I flinched and began to eat as I chewed my way through the food he spoke quietly to me and I felt my heart rate increase.

"You've got an hour to pack up Sugden you're out of here your appeal was granted on condition that you see a counselor when you have returned home your husband will be here in a hour to collect you so chop chop." He said and I swallowed hard against the lump that had suddenly decided to form in my throat Aaron was coming here to get me he must have driven down after our phone call then because if he was only an hour away he wouldn't drive this distance in a day surely... I swallowed my last mouthful of breakfast and finished my tea making sure I had taken my morning doses of medication for my anxiety and depression.

Once I was alone again I let my tears flow as I packed up my very limited personal items I smiled through my tears as I folded my clothes and stuffed them into the small black holdall I had brought with me from home I couldn't believe it I was meant to be serving fourteen years for murder how was it even possible I was being released?.

Two long hours later a guard appeared and I left my familiarity behind as the heavy door clanked shut behind us I flinched and shook from the sudden change in air temperature as I was led to the meeting room I began to shake what if this was a mistake what if Aaron didn't want me back I looked up and saw nothing but a look of reassurance on the face of the guard standing outside the meeting room.

As the handcuffs came off I instinctively rubbed my wrists and then sat down on the chair with the bag at my feet for Aaron to come in when he did I stood up and just smiled at him he probably thought I looked mental and looking back now I most likely did.

Aaron's POV.

I was nervous as the door to the meeting room opened and I stepped inside when I saw Robert I almost forgot where I was or where we were and I approached him with my arms outstretched but he just smiled at me and sat down I stared at him for a bit not sure as to what to say then he spoke and I relaxed.

Seven hours later.

Robert's POV.

I blinked feeling a hand shaking me I opened my eyes and blinked several times to clear the sleepiness and looked out of the window it was raining but it looked no different from when I left seven months and eighteen days ago I turned to Aaron and nodded "home?." I whispered and he nodded "home for good." He replied and I just smiled at him just as a door opened and a small blond haired boy ran out and towards the car.

"Is that ?." I asked and Aaron nodded "Rebecca brought him over this morning he wanted to surprise you." Aaron said and I opened my door scrambling out as the little boy reached me.

"Daddy." Seb squealed as I lifted him into my tired arms and buried my face into him breathing in his sweet baby smell.

"Oh Rob." Aaron whispered and wrapped his arms around me as I stood by the open car door holding my son in my arms and just sobbed I'd missed out on so much and I had so much time to make up to both Aaron and Seb not to mention Liv and Vic.

"Robert?." A voice called and I looked up and over Aaron's shoulder and saw my beautiful sister stood on her doorstep with a small boy held in her arms that must be Harry.

I handed Seb to Aaron and stumbled over to Vic I was exhausted and needed a shower desperately but I also wanted to give my sister a kiss and to meet my new nephew.

"Daddy.." I turned around and Seb waved to me I didn't know what to do I felt torn I wanted to just take in everything but I was exhausted and I knew Vic would understand so I turned back and headed into our house with Aaron and Seb.

As I stepped into the warm hallway I glanced around nothing much had changed except for the lack of photos of Aaron and me the one by the phone was missing Aaron put Seb down and told him to go and play.

"Their in the drawer I couldn't keep them out but they will be back out now." Aaron explained and opened the drawer under the table holding the phone.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered my voice cracking and tears formed in my eyes and a couple escaped down my cheeks.

"Hey it's okay it's okay baby you're home now." Aaron said and hugged me pressing my face in against his shoulder just like old times when I got upset.


	2. It's okay you're safe.

Aaron's POV.

I heard Robert calling out in his sleep as I rolled over he woke up and almost immediately burst into tears looking around as though he didn't know where he was and I realized he was stuck in a memory from prison.

"Hey hey it's okay it's okay you're home Rob you're safe now shhh." I soothed reaching out to him and stroking his hair back away from his eyes eyes that held deep fear.

"Oh Rob." I whispered softly stroking Robert's hair trying to calm him down he was clearly suffering from PTSD after someone had hurt him in prison.

Robert's POV.

I woke up with tears streaming down my cheeks and Aaron trying to calm me down I'd had a nightmare about prison and what I had suffered there.

I shuffled closer to Aaron and buried my head into him breathing in his reassuring scent he was solid and safe, and I just clung onto him wanting safety I felt so scared I wasn't ready to be home I wanted to be back where I knew I wanted to be back in my cell on the Isle of wight.

Aaron kept talking to me trying to reassure me and eventually I drifted back off to sleep snuggled close to Aaron knowing he would keep me safe.

Aaron's POV.

"That's it just relax go back to sleep you're exhausted baby just rest love I've got you you're okay." I soothed rubbing Robert's back.

07.30am,

Robert opened his eyes as Seb darted into our bedroom and jumped on the bed between us and Robert smiled but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Just stay here and rest okay I'll get Seb off to nursery and then we can do something for breakfast if you want?." I asked and Robert nodded closing his eyes and pretty soon he was asleep again.

When I got back from dropping Seb off I found Robert making chocolate chip pancakes his famous pancakes.

Robert looked up and smiled slightly seeing me stood watching him make the pancakes.


	3. Hidden hurt.

True facts.

1) when I first started writing on this site I felt safe to do so because there wasn't anyone here who picked holes in me or tore my stories apart but just recently I've come to realise that even on here I seem to attract unwanted messages and comments.

2) yes like Robert I am bisexual and I am not afraid to tell people this fact I will not hide who I am just because someone has a problem with it I haven't chosen to walk the path I do in my life I would be straight if I could because then maybe my life would be simpler but I'm not and it isn't and never will be.

3) I lost my brother Jacob in 2015 he was 23 years old and I was destroyed by his loss over the last almost five years I have struggled to rebuild my life and myself I have been diagnosed with subthreshold PTSD, Mild borderline personality disorder, Autism, Sensory Processing, and Major Depressive disorder so if my stories contain content to do with any of this it will be written from personal experience.

4) I don't pretend to be perfect because nobody ever is perfect are they I am who I am and I will not change for anyone even if they hate me for who I am.

5) since the last comment I've found myself less attracted to writing any more of any of my stories because I can't handle being put down in comments because I am only human like anyone else.

Ok rant over and maybe I might write another chapter later if you are lucky.

CptnMatthewCrawley.


	4. One More Scar.

8.55am Saturday morning Bramble Cottage.

Robert sang softly as warm water. cascaded down over his head he still found it impossible to believe he was home let alone back with Aaron he looked down at his body counting each scar that covered his skinny frame he hadn't allowed Aaron to see them yet well not on purpose anyway the ones on his arms Aaron had seen but not these ones or the ones around his thighs and genitals either the truth was Robert was a mess.

He jumped as there was a soft knock on the bathroom door and stepped out of the shower wrapping a towelling robe around himself he switched off the water and went to the door securing the belt on the robe as he did so.

Aaron was stood on the landing his hair sticking up and wearing his sleep shorts and soft black sleep top.

"Hey are you feeling okay you didn't get much sleep?." Aaron asked and Robert nodded "I'm fine." He replied and Aaron sighed raising an eyebrow knowing Robert was lying but didn't ask anything else for now wanting Robert to come to him when he was ready.

As the day went on Robert seemed lost in thought a lot of the time and Aaron began to become quite concerned especially when Robert barely touched his dinner that evening and then disappeared upstairs to the bathroom not long after they had all finished.

"Daddy sick."Seb called out that night and both Aaron and Robert snapped awake, Aaron got up first and pulled on his dressing gown securing the belt before going to check on Seb.

Robert dozed until he heard Aaron calling his name and got up to go and help throwing on a t shirt before he left their room leaving the scars on his arms exposed but he didn't care.

Seb was in the bath and Aaron was washing his hair Sebs face was pale and he had red splotches on his cheeks from crying Robert presumed.

"Hiya monkey you not feeling so good?." Robert asked Seb who shook his head his eyes shining with more tears like Robert Seb hated being sick and when he was it often led to a meltdown.

"Oh bubba shhh it's okay I'm here and Dad's here we will look after you and you'll be better soon I promise." Robert said kneeling down beside the bath.

"Rob could you go and finish off his bed please?." Aaron asked as he rinsed the shampoo out of Sebs hair Robert nodded and got up wincing slightly as he did so feeling one of his new cuts burn slightly on contact with his boxers.

Aaron saw him wince but Robert was quick to say he was fine and went to do as Aaron asked.

An hour later found them all back in bed Seb had fallen asleep on Robert after some medicine and a drink of water and Robert had tucked him back into his nice clean bed and put the soft fabric cot side up to keep him from rolling out of bed 

Aaron studied Robert's face closely worried about his husband Robert hadn't been well since he was released and Aaron knew something wasn't right he just hoped it wasn't the worst but little did he know ...

Sunday Morning,

Aaron woke up and went to check on Seb who was still fast asleep buried under his duvet heading back to their bedroom Aaron caught sight of some of Robert's scars Robert was asleep but the duvet had slipped down to his waist exposing his bare torso to the air seeing how faded some of the scars were he realised that something really bad had happened to his husband.

"Rob you didn't?.." he asked and gasped when Robert nodded "I was on suicide watch." He admitted.


	5. Talking the truth.

Sunday Afternoon,

Seb was resting upstairs after being poorly most of the day and Aaron and Robert were sat on the sofa together Aaron turned to face Robert and took his hand.

"Talk to me sweetheart please don't shut me out." Aaron said and Robert looked at his husband seeing the concern on his face.

"I'm fine." Robert mumbled and Aaron rolled his eyes "where have I heard that before?." He asked and Robert blushed.

"Honestly I'm fine." Robert repeated and Aaron just hugged him not believing him for a moment.

"Okay maybe I'm not as okay as I have been saying I am to be honest I'm a bit of a mess to be honest." Robert admitted.

"You remember back at the start of 2020 and the Corona business that was going on?." He asked and Aaron nodded.

"Well as you know the prison had a few cases I didn't catch it because I wasn't really in the main prison at that time." Robert whispered and Aaron just stared at him his mind going to a place he never thought he would associate with his strong husband Robert.


	6. Scars heal but mental ones take longer.

Two weeks after his admission Robert appeared to be doing okay he still had days where he would forget to eat or to take his meds, Aaron was always there with a smile and a gentle reminder though telling him that he wouldn't get better unless he took the pills and ate something even just a sandwich or some toast.

On Wednesday Aaron was sat in the waiting area of Robert's counselors office when he heard Robert start shouting and he stood up moments later as a door crashed open and Robert appeared tears streaming down his cheeks his face flushed red.

"What happened baby what's got you so upset?." Aaron asked and Robert just shook his head before falling into his arms and hiding his face against Aaron's neck.

"Mr Sugden we still have ten minutes I'm not finished with you yet we were only just getting started weren't we." A voice said and Aaron looked into the eyes of the woman he had trusted himself to help Robert but clearly he had been wrong, "excuse me what exactly do you mean by that statement clearly you can see my husband is not feeling well and I will be taking him home to rest." Aaron said anger clear in his voice.

After she had gone Robert gradually began to calm down and relaxed into Aaron's arms his eyes drifting closed Aaron looked at his poorly exhausted husband and slowly led him out of the building and into the car and slowly drove him home.

Aaron held back his anger until the next day at the scrapyard when he went to town on smashing up a battered ford focus before meeting Robert for lunch in Hotten.

Robert sat staring out of the window of Costa Coffee waiting for Aaron to appear and stood up when he did Aaron looked better but still worried about Robert, he hadn't slept since that terrible morning at the counselor.

"How did it go this morning at the doctor's?." Aaron asked Robert had made an appointment after having a seizure again at home he had then told Aaron that he had been having them when he was in prison and Aaron had talked him into seeing Liam.

"He's given me more pills to try and he's pretty convinced that I've got late onset epilepsy on top of everything else." Robert said and Aaron nodded.

"It's fine we'll deal with it alright." He said and kissed Robert before asking if he'd eaten and sighed when Robert shook his head and went and got them each a sandwich and another cinnamon latte for Robert and a tea for himself.

As they ate Robert felt his strength begin to return and he reached for Aaron's hand squeezing it tightly, Aaron looked up and smiled softly.

"You okay?." He asked and Robert nodded, "actually yeah I feel pretty good right now." He said and Aaron just smiled at him.

"Aaron you know." Robert whispered.

"Yeah Rob I know." He replied and leaned across the table to kiss Robert soft and reassuring on the lips.


	7. He needs you.

Aaron heard his phone ringing and pulled it out of his pocket and saw Robert's name flashing across the screen pressing the green button he answered the call and heard a female voice on the other end it was someone from the hotel where Robert was staying on a business trip saying that Robert had collapsed and was on his way to hospital in Leeds Aaron thanked her and left the portakabin and got into his car to drive to meet Robert at the hospital he called Chas en route and asked if she could go and check on Tyson and stay with him.

Aaron tried not to panic as he drove he knew it wouldn't help Robert if something happened to him on his way to be with him, Robert was barely with it as he was assessed on the way to Leeds general infirmary, he was pale and tired he had black rings round his eyes he was shaking and hyperventilating and just asking for Aaron.

When Aaron arrived at the hospital he was taken straight back to see Robert who was still struggling to breathe he had a oxygen mask on his face and was trying to calm down as soon as Robert caught sight of Aaron he managed to catch his breath and settled down reaching out to Aaron for a hug.

When the nurse came over to check Robert's OBS he let her do what she needed to but held tight to one of Aaron's hands he looked much calmer and some colour had come back into his face.

"I'll get you something to eat and if you can keep it down then we will let you go home." She said and Robert and Aaron both nodded.

Robert managed to eat the sandwich and it stayed down and he was allowed home under strict instructions to rest and to see his doctor about his medication and his health.


	8. Time passes pain eases life returns.

Robert entered the church hall on a freezing Wednesday morning to pick Seb up from nursery and smiled seeing David and Ashley Christopher's dad's stood waiting too Christopher was Sebs best friend at nursery and was two months older than Seb, Robert shivered as the door opened to allow a short woman to step in out of the light snow that was falling and Robert stepped aside to allow her into the warmth of the room they stood in but when she stood beside him he flinched as she tried to touch his arm.

"You here by yourself handsome?." She asked and Robert gulped before nodding and looking at David and Ashley for help they saw how uncomfortable Robert was looking and Ashley spoke loudly.

"I think you'll find he is married love." He said as Robert tried to step away from her tightening grip his breaths coming out as short panicked gasps and David came over placing a supportive hand on Robert's shoulder.

"It's okay mate just breathe it's okay Rob you're safe just focus on your breathing for me." David said as the lady finally got the message and let go of his arm before stalking out and slamming the door clearly she had been stalking Robert and thought she had a chance.

"Need me to call Aaron?." David asked gently and Robert shook his head his breathing was already better and he just wanted to get Seb home.

Five minutes later the doors opened and Seb came sprinting out of the door and jumped into Robert's arms and Mrs Lyle appeared carrying Sebs bag and it was then that Robert realised Seb was wearing his spare clothes from his bag.

"He had a accident and got a bit upset didn't you sweetheart." She said handing the bag to Robert and Seb nodded "Sorry Daddy I was desperate but I couldn't make it." He said as Christopher appeared and hugged Robert around his middle he loved Robert and Seb a lot and Aaron too.

"Did it hurt is that why you held it too long?." Robert asked quietly Seb was prone to urinary tract infections and had suffered from kidney problems as a infant and sometimes he forgot that he needed a wee and had a accident.

Seb nodded and hid his face into Robert's neck and Robert sighed it looked like the little bit might have another infection, Robert carried Seb home and got him settled on the sofa watching paw patrol and holding his snuggle blanket.

Aaron got home just before lunch and smiled but the smile faded when he saw how pale Seb was and Robert told him how the little boy hadn't felt well when he picked him up from nursery and had blood in his urine.

Aaron just felt his heart stop and hugged Robert

"He'll be okay Rob we will take him in tonight and get him sorted alright." He said and Robert nodded.

Seb woke up and ran into the downstairs bathroom scrambling onto his stepstool and crying as he relieved himself loudly it hurt so much he tried to muffle his sobs he had learned to be quiet because Ross didn't like it when he made noise.

Robert heard the soft sobbing and went to check on little Seb.

Aaron appeared just as Robert had lifted Seb into his arms and was rubbing his back trying to calm him down before Seb was sick from crying.

Aaron grabbed their phones and wallets and his keys and a blanket to wrap Seb in along with Sebs snuggle blanket.

Robert had put Seb into a pull up knowing how poorly Seb must be feeling when they got to hospital Robert went straight in and up to the front desk to tell them why they were there Seb was asleep on Robert's shoulder.

An hour later Seb was called to be assessed, Robert attempted to wake their poorly son.

"So this must be Sebastian?." The nurse asked and Robert and Aaron nodded then Aaron said "he prefers to be called Seb." He said softly.

Hannah nodded and Robert laid Seb onto the soft bed so she could examine him as she probed his stomach he whimpered and grabbed his crotch.

"I need a wee Daddy." Seb whimpered.

"It's okay you've got a pull up on sweetheart just let it out." Robert whispered soothingly.

"Before he does could you grab a sample for me?." Hannah asked and Robert nodded and Hannah left the room giving them all some privacy.

Robert managed to collect the sample as Seb cried as his sore bladder emptied into the pull up "sorry daddy I accident again." Seb sobbed breaking both Aaron and Roberts hearts.

Robert handed the sample to Hannah who tested it and confirmed their suspicion Seb did have another infection.

After picking up Sebs antibiotics and some more Calpol the exhausted family headed home to bed in Sebs case as they changed and cleaned up ready for bed Aaron watched Robert as he watched Seb sleep on the baby monitor.

"He'll be okay." He said Seb was wearing a nappy for the first time in two years because they knew he would have accidents while he was poorly.

"Poor bubba." Robert whispered wishing he could swap places with Seb and take his pain away.


	9. Slow recovery.

Seb took a week to fully recover from his infection and was very clingy in that time Robert took days off work to take care of Seb while Aaron worked up at the scrapyard Seb slept a lot and he was in some pain but Robert knew he would feel better eventually, Aaron was home one afternoon when Seb came running out of the bathroom with a big smile on his face.

"Didn't hurt daddy." He said and Aaron just nodded Seb looked so much better than he had been he was slowly learning that he could show his emotions and his pain without being told off Ross had so much to answer for not least the trauma he had put Seb through when he left the little boy alone in the flat in Liverpool and went off to find more drugs and Rebecca was already in hospital because her mental health wasn't good and she had also been known to abandon Seb without knowing she had done it.

Aaron texted Robert who he knew had a free period that afternoon and told him Sebs news.

Robert was home just after 5 and Seb raced to let him in and hugged his dad around his middle.

"Hi daddy." Seb said and Robert lifted Seb into his arms and kissed him on the side of his head glad to feel no sign of Sebs fever he'd had for the last few days he was still on antibiotics but he was so much better and so much more like himself.

"Can I have some juice Daddy?." Seb asked and Robert nodded and they went to get some and Seb gulped it down.


	10. Bouncing back takes a lot of TLC.

"Robert what happened?." Aaron asked and Robert looked up tears streaming down his face he had gravel rash all over his left side and his face was pale as snow his eyes were bloodshot and he looked to be deep in shock.

"Someone hit Tyson Aaron we were walking back from the park and someone drove straight at me and Ty stood in front of me he was thrown into the air and hit the ground several yards away I am so sorry Aaron it's all my fault it was Ross he drove up here to try and get Seb back but I refused to let him take our son away again." Robert said his voice cracking and breaking as tears continued to stream down his cheeks.

"Oh baby it's okay I'm not angry with you it was a accident Rob what worries me is what happened to you?." Aaron asked and Robert just shook his head "Ross was a mess he gave me a good kicking as I tried to help our boy." Robert sobbed.

"Mr Sugden?." A voice called and both Aaron and Robert turned to see a young male vet and followed him into the room where Tyson was he had a bandage on his front left leg and a nasty looking graze on his face but apart from that he looked pretty much okay Tyson wagged his tail on seeing both Robert and Aaron and Robert crouched down stroking Tyson's head gently and Tyson sat up slowly before hiding his face in Robert's chest.

"Oh buddy." Aaron breathed dropping to a crouch alongside Robert and putting a arm across Robert's shoulders as their brave dog snuggled as close as he could to Robert.

"Can we take him home?." Aaron asked and the vet nodded "before you do I will get you some clean dressings and things for his leg and some metacam for his pain." He said and Aaron nodded he knew about metacam from helping Paddy at his practice before.

Two hours later Robert was lying on the sofa with Tyson on the floor and they both were sound asleep Robert was still feeling guilty for what had happened to Tyson.

That evening they went to the pub for dinner and when they walked in Chas rushed out from behind the bar, Robert winced as she hugged him his ribs were still quite sore and Tyson whined from down by his feet and Chas crouched down having let go of Robert to give Tyson a cuddle too Paddy approached and gently hugged Robert.

"Our poor wounded soldiers come on through to the back Marlon's served your dinner out there he thought you would prefer it." He said and Robert nodded.

Aaron took Robert's hand and they walked quietly through to the back rooms of the pub there was a bowl of food and water for Tyson.

"I'm sorry for all of it especially Tyson being hurt he shouldn't have been there." Robert whispered and his face dissolved in tears all over again.

Aaron sighed and wrapped his arms around Robert and simply held him safe in his arms.

"Oh Rob it wasn't your fault he was defending you from Ross if anyone is to blame it would be Ross he's the one who did the bad thing not you and you were hurt too remember so please baby don't blame yourself for any of this because I certainly do not." Aaron said and Robert nodded and his tears stopped and they got on with their evening.


	11. Tyson saves Robert.

Aaron looked up hearing frantic barking from outside the back door he opened it and saw Tyson barking and then the German shepherd turned and ran off back the way he had come before barking again urging Aaron to follow him Aaron grabbed his keys a waterproof jacket and a torch as well as his phone and wallet and left the house slamming the back door behind him, and ran after Tyson as they covered mile after mile Aaron began to panic and pulled on his reflective jacket still keeping Tyson in sight he was worried it was getting dark and there was no sign of Robert.

Eventually Aaron spotted Tyson he was stood on the edge of a steep sided ravine as he approached the edge Aaron took a deep breath trying not to puke with what he might be about to see when he looked over her saw Robert lying in the bottom of the dried up ravine Robert looked dead then Tyson barked and Robert moved slightly moaning as his body was gripped by pain.

"I'm here Rob I'm gonna climb down to you okay and see what you've done to yourself then I will get you some help." Aaron said and he slowly climbed down to where Robert was lying and knelt down beside his husband's prone form.

"What happened baby?." Aaron asked and Robert tried to roll over but ended up screaming in pain clutching his left side his face was cut and bleeding and he had a big bruise on the side of his head his t shirt was torn and blood was soaking through it and his jeans were ripped in several places he was covered in blood and fluid from around his mouth where he had clearly been sick from the shock or the pain.

Aaron pulled out his phone and called 999 asking for the mountain search and rescue before sending Tyson back home to fetch Chas and Paddy who he knew Andy was also staying with.

Twenty minutes passed and Aaron did his best to help Robert he ripped his shirt to shreds to try and bandage Robert's hands which were bleeding badly.

Aaron was so relieved to see Paddy and Andy appear and shouted up what Roberts injuries were and how concussed he was and that he had vomited twice since falling into the ravine.

Robert moaned in agony as he was lifted out of his prison and Aaron was determined to go with him in the ambulance to Hotten General where Robert was kept in for observation because of his concussion.

Aaron sat beside Robert's bed holding his hand stroking his thumb over Robert's knuckles trying to keep calm the results of Robert's latest scan had been positive he had no fracture just a very severe concussion and a lot of bruising and abrasive cuts to his body it was the mental scars he already had that Aaron was worried about Robert really hadn't been well for quite some time.

Suddenly Robert opened his eyes and blinked rapidly trying to adjust to the lights shining down on him as his gaze settled on Aaron Robert began to cry and Aaron heard him.

"Oh Rob it's okay you're okay just rest sweetheart is your head hurting?." Aaron asked and he pressed the alarm for the nurses as he tried to comfort Robert.

A few days later, 

Aaron watched Robert as he slept fitfully beside him it was a humid night and it had taken Robert longer than usual to fall asleep he was shirtless because it was more comfortable for his injuries Aaron traced one of Roberts worst scars and Robert twitched in his light slumber before opening his eyes and sitting up to grab his water bottle gulping back it's contents.

"Hey hey easy Rob you'll be sick if you drink that quickly slow down a little bit for me Darlin." Aaron said stroking Robert's thigh as he spoke Robert looked at him and Aaron realised he was only half awake.


	12. TLC.

Tyson was even more protective of Robert after his accident in the ravine he barely left his side when Robert first came home from hospital and began his long road to recovery, Chas came to see them and to bring some shopping that they needed and then made him a bottle of juice so he could take his meds.

Robert was exhausted from doing nothing and fell asleep during dinner Seb helped him upstairs and laid him down on their bed and removed Robert's shoes, socks,and belt so he was more comfortable and could rest better he headed back downstairs to let Aaron know Robert was asking for him.

Aaron walked slowly upstairs to check on Robert and found him sat up reading in bed his face was pale but that wasn't unusual these days he had a headache but as he recovered further he started to be more like his old self and Tyson started to calm down too when he knew Robert was safe.

Aaron made sure that Robert had taken his meds before leaving him to sleep he had been diagnosed with subthreshold PTSD and several other conditions.

Tyson barked a warning to someone wearing black and Robert looked up and saw Ross standing in front of him glaring at him Tyson barked again and then growled and snarled when Ross reached out to touch Robert.

Aaron heard Tyson barking and opened the front door and spotted Robert being advanced on by Ross.

"Oi what do you think you're doing?." He shouted and Ross jumped and ran off seeing Aaron ment business.

"He's got a nerve showing up around here after what he's done to you and to our son I have a mind to ring the police and report him for harassment." Aaron said when he reached Robert's side taking Roberts right hand into his left and giving it a comforting squeeze.

Robert shook his head "no please no police I don't want them here." He said and tears gathered in his eyes and a couple escaped down his cheeks 

"Ok no police but what if he hurts you again baby?." Aaron asked and Robert just buried himself into Aaron's chest as more tears cascaded down his cheeks as he swallowed hard against the lump forming in his throat.

"He won't be back not now you've told him he's not welcome round here." He said his voice muffled by Aaron's shoulder.

"Let's go inside your shaking baby do you feel alright?." Aaron asked and Robert frowned then shook his head "not really my head hurts." He admitted and Aaron sighed and nodded glad Robert felt okay enough to admit he was struggling after his run in with Ross.

Robert sat down on the sofa when they got inside his hands were shaking and Aaron fetched him a dose of medicine and a glass of juice he had to support Robert as he drank the juice as his hands were shaking so much.

"Go easy baby don't rush otherwise you'll be sick." Aaron said as Robert gulped down the juice like a man in a desert.

Robert laid down after finishing the juice and closed his eyes praying the medicine kicked in soon as he wasn't feeling well at all.


	13. Whispers and lies.

Robert tried to be brave as he walked down the school corridor watching as people turned to stare at him he was walking slower than usual but that was because of the beating he'd had that weekend when he had been out shopping in Hotten with Aaron and had wandered off on his own,he looked up hearing quiet snatches of conversation between the students and tried to ignore the shouts that he was a pyscho and needed locking up.

As he sat down at his desk a few minutes later Robert felt his eyes burning with tears he wasn't a pyscho he was just very badly damaged from what he had suffered in prison at the hands of a bunch of homophobes who had given him a good kicking several times.

Pulling out his phone Robert dialled Aaron's number and began to cry as soon as he heard Aaron's voice on the line Aaron said he would be there soon and hung up before making his way across from the sixth form building and up to the maths office he knocked on the door then entered his husband's domain and Robert got to his feet and fell sobbing into Aaron's arms.

"What the hell is he doing Aaron?." Mark Jenkins asked as he entered the room and found Aaron hugging Robert tightly in his arms.

"He's come back too early that's what he is doing because he's too stubborn for his own good." Aaron said and rubbed Robert's back as he cried harder against his chest and shoulder.

"Just take him home and get him to see someone he clearly isn't ready to be back here yet." Mark said and Aaron nodded before leading Robert out of the office and down to the carpark and driving him home from school.

When they got home Aaron sent Robert upstairs to rest on their bed and went to make him a cup of tea, when he got up there ten minutes later he found Robert stretched out fast asleep across the bed and sighed he didn't want to wake his clearly exhausted man from his much needed sleep but he wanted to talk to Robert.

"Rob hey baby can you wake up for me sweetheart?." Aaron asked and Robert groaned and opened his eyes slowly blinking at Aaron a look of confusion on his face.


	14. Sleep in car.

Robert wasn't home when Aaron headed to bed and he wasn't home until lunchtime the next day he looked exhausted and paler than Robert had looked in a long time he was white as paper and sweating like mad his lips had a slight blue tinge to them and Aaron realised Robert was slightly hypothermic he was freezing to the touch and Aaron wanted to just help Robert feel better he was shivering violently.

"Let's get you sorted and into bed yeah you look rough baby." Aaron said and Robert just nodded tears leaking down his cheeks he was emotional because he was exhausted and just wanted more sleep, Aaron studied him and saw how tired he was from looking at the solid black rings round his eyes he clearly had not been sleeping well while he was away in Calais on business for Hotten Academy he had taken over the role of head of department and head of exams as well as being second in charge of year nine, he also had a form as well who needed a lot of his attention on a daily basis.

Aaron was head of department of physical education at Hotten and we'll respected as was Robert but just occasionally a student would push Robert to the limit.

Aaron turned on the shower as warm as was safe for Robert and stripped Robert out of his sweat damp.clothes and under the warm spray after stripping off himself Aaron joined Robert in the shower and started to wash his hair massaging his scalp knowing Robert would relax and calm down and settle so he would be able to sleep more easily when they got out of the shower and into bed it was Saturday so Aaron wasn't too concerned about time or anything Seb was out with Issac and Johnny or so he thought but at about half twelve the front door slammed shut and then so did Sebs bedroom door.

"Sebastian?." Aaron called and sprinted upstairs to check on Seb who was face down on his bed sobbing his eyes out.

"Oh mate what's wrong what's happened bubba?." Aaron asked and Seb looked up sniffling as snot made its way down to his top lip.

"Josh dumped me." Seb sobbed and Aaron sighed and sat down scooping Seb into his arms and holding him tightly against his chest rubbing Sebs back in big soothing circles.

Aaron looked up when he heard Robert in the doorway and shook his head Robert was sleep rumpled and still tired.

Robert was upset when Aaron told him what had happened to Seb, Robert wanted to kill Josh for hurting Seb like he did.

Aaron was worried when Seb came down later on while they were eating dinner and Seb looked pale and shaken Aaron offered him some dinner but Seb refused.


	15. Heartbroken.

Robert went back to work on Monday but was home early afternoon with a bad headache, Aaron was still at work and Seb was at school he laid down on the lounge sofa and fell into a exhausted slumber he was still asleep when Aaron got home Seb had rugby training after school and got home after five he was covered in mud and his left arm was in a sling he said he had pulled his shoulder during rugby and he was in some pain but a dose of Nurofen made some difference Robert woke up soon after Seb got home he was pale and Aaron asked him if he felt better after his sleep.

Aaron got Robert a glass of apple juice which Robert gulped down causing Aaron some concern about his thirst especially when he disappeared into the bathroom not long after and was in there a long time.

"You feeling alright you were in there a while?." Aaron asked and Robert nodded but he was still pale and sweaty and his eyes were glazed from a fever.

Aaron took Robert's temperature and it was 38.3 and he was definitely not well and it was likely to be serious.

Aaron held his breath watching Robert as he drifted back off to sleep on the sofa he was pale and sweaty and Aaron decided to take Robert to hospital to get him checked out and it was lucky he did because Robert had a really serious infection and was very unwell Chas bought Seb in to see Robert who was sedated to keep him calm and relaxed so he could recover.

Seb watched his dad sleep tears slid down his cheeks and Aaron wrapped his arms around Seb holding him close and reassuring him that Robert would be okay.

Robert was kept in for a week after it was discovered that he had a severe infection in his kidneys and bladder he hadn't been drinking enough water.

When Robert was finally allowed home he was warned that the nerves around his kidneys and bladder had been damaged by the infection so he might struggle with his continence for quite some time instead of facing having accidents Robert simply wore special underwear which absorbed any leaks so he remained dry.

One evening Robert and Seb were in the pub having dinner while Aaron was away on the ski trip and Robert barely touched his dinner instead he pushed it around his plate before pushing his plate away and picking up his glass of orange juice Seb watched him worry on his face and Robert shrugged before getting up and walking off in the direction of the toilets.

Seb finished his own dinner and caught his Nana's eye Chas saw the worry on Sebs face and sent Paddy to check on Robert.

Paddy found Robert slumped against the wall outside the men's toilets his hands buried in his crotch and his eyes closed tears leaking from under his closed eyelids 

"Oh Rob it's okay mate let's get you sorted yeah come on." Paddy said gently and helped Robert into one of the stalls inside the toilets as Robert began to relieve himself he cried out from the pain and Paddy just reassured him he'd be okay through the half closed door eventually Robert's stream slowed down and stopped but because he had held it for so long he was in quite some pain still.


	16. Feeling Alone.

Robert's POV.

I sat on a bench watching as Seb ran around chasing Tyson I wanted Aaron to come home he had been away for almost two weeks with the ski trip and I was desperate to see my husband I had missed him so much Niall was helping out at his riding stables and I was picking him up at half past four.

"Seb let's go we have to go fetch your brother before Dad gets home from France." I said and Seb nodded as he approached I clipped on Tyson's lead and we headed home Seb carrying Tyson's ball chukka over his shoulder.

Tyson went straight to get a long drink of water then laid down on the floor and fell asleep leaving Tyson at home they headed off to fetch Niall.

As they pulled up Seb spotted Niall waiting in the carpark his rucksack and riding hat and whip beside him on the ground as they stopped Niall stood up and Seb saw that he appeared to be limping.

Getting out of the car I walked over and picked up Niall's hat and whip while he carried his bag on his shoulder before slinging it into the boot of my car and grabbing his trainers.

I heard him swear softly as he removed his left boot and slung that into the boot along with the right one and realized his left foot was swollen up.

"What happened bubba?." I asked and Niall told me that someone's horse had stood on his foot right at the end of the day and it was hurting a lot.

I nodded and we got into the car and drove home Seb complaining that Niall stunk the whole way home, when we got home I asked Seb to carry Niall's stuff while I carried him bridal style into the house and upstairs to the bathroom to run him a warm bath adding some of his favourite bubbles to the running water.

"Really hurts dad." Niall whimpered as he peeled off his socks and johdpurs I'd already removed his trainers downstairs before carrying him upstairs as Niall gingerly got into the bath after having a wee Seb appeared carrying Niall's phone in his hand it had been in his bag most of the day and was in need of charging.

Niall was soon clean again and I had a look at his foot he winced as my cool fingers probed the bruises on his foot and ankle and a few tears escaped this was where I really needed Aaron because Niall always went to Aaron when he was in pain like Seb coming to me Niall was mostly Aaron's son.

Aaron's POV.

I got home just after 9pm and Robert told me what had happened to Niall at the yard that day and was asking for him Aaron gave Robert a chaste kiss and went to check on their younger son.

As I pushed open Niall's door I heard soft sobbing and walked over to sit on the edge of Niall's bed as I reached out Niall sat up suddenly and flung his arms around me clinging on like a limpet clings to a rock, as I cuddled him he told me how his day had been great up until George had stood on his foot at the mounting block.

I stroked Niall's back soothingly trying to keep him calm so he would sleep then after tucking him in I headed back downstairs to where Robert was waiting for me Seb was out with Issac and Johnny they had gone out for pizza then Seb was meeting his boyfriend Lewis afterwards to see a movie and had promised he would be home by eleven.

As I sat down beside Robert on the sofa the front door burst open and then I heard feet disappear upstairs before a door banged shut and I knew Seb must be home and looking at my watch saw that it was only just ten PM.

Going out into the hall I heard our phone ring then the answerphone cut in and I heard Lewis voice speak into it.

"Seb are you back yet please talk to me let me explain?." Lewis said and then the line went dead. I gasped and went and shut the front door and then sprinted upstairs to find our eldest son.

I knocked on his door and was met with a muffled go away and knew I couldn't leave him not while he was this upset and hurting I knocked again and then the door opened and Seb was stood there tears streaming down his cheeks clear snot traveling towards his mouth as he sniffled he kept staring at me then I opened my arms and he fell into them burying his face against my t shirt covered chest.

I dug out my phone and texted Robert.

'hot chocolate needed marshmallows are under the sink." I said and a moment later my phone pinged and I smiled and nodded 'coming up.' the message said and I led Seb into the family bathroom to wash his face.

As I was cleaning away his tears and snot Seb told me what had happened he'd seen Lewis kissing Johnny and had just run home with Issac chasing him the whole way Issac had been Sebs best friend since they were five and knew him best out of him and Johnny.

Robert appeared with a tray in his hands with three mugs and a plate of peanut butter cookies that he knew Seb loved.

As we sat on sebs bed talking he had a few more tears but we both reassured him that Lewis was likely hurting too because of what he had done but I could see that Seb was angry and didn't push it too much with the questions deciding we should all have a early night and we all headed off to bed.

Robert's POV.

My poor little boy what was Lewis thinking kissing his best friend at a party that he had organised?. I was angry but more than that I was heartbroken for my eldest son who adored Lewis and had been besotted with him since they had got together almost four years ago.


	17. Emotional evening and sleepless night.

Robert got up and stretched his body was exhausted he hadn't been sleeping well and Aaron was worried about him he was pale and drawn looking his eyes had black rings around them and he just looked terrible he watched as Robert's tall figure disappeared upstairs and sighed as he heard the bath begin to fill he wished he could do more to help Robert but unless he could cancel exams there was little he could do to support Robert right now until the end of the exam season Robert couldn't really afford to relax.

Aaron padded upstairs to check on Robert after around half an hour and found him soaking in the tub his clothes in a dirty pile on the floor Robert's eyes were closed and Aaron thought he'd fallen asleep he was breathing so quietly.

"Rob are you alright sweetheart?." Aaron asked softly and Robert shrugged slightly making the water ripple around his shoulders.

"No I'm not I just want to go to bed and actually sleep is that too much to ask?." He whispered sleepily.


	18. Father's Day Accident.

"Happy Father's Day Daddy and Papa." Seb and Niall said as Robert and Aaron opened their eyes on Sunday Morning, Niall handed Aaron a rainbow striped envelope and Robert a bi striped envelope he'd managed to find a card for each of his parents and had personalized both as had Seb downstairs who was making breakfast, Niall then passed them a small square box each again individually wrapped and Robert felt very lucky to be so loved he hadn't ever felt that before.

Aaron opened his card and swallowed hard as he recognised the picture on the front it showed them on the day that Niall came home with them finally from hospital five years earlier , Robert had found nine year old Niall wandering about alone and filthy on the streets of Leeds and had taken him to hospital before calling Aaron.

Aaron opened the card and swallowed again against the forming lump in his throat as he read the message that Niall had written inside meanwhile Robert was in his own world of memories looking at the picture on his own card it had been taken at the moment that he had finally become Niall's official Daddy the day his papers were signed and he was holding a grinning Niall in his arms in the picture.

"Do you like them?." Niall asked nervously just as Seb appeared carrying a loaded tray in his hands which he placed onto the bed between Aaron and Robert on the tray was two mugs of tea made just how they both liked a plate of toast and warm cinnamon rolls, a plate of pancakes with chocolate chips a speciality of Robert's that Seb had learned to make, orange juice for the boys and a stack of napkins and paper plates.

And beside the food were another pair of cards and two wrapped boxes of similar design to Niall's.

As they ate they shared stories of precious other father's days Seb had a few tears from remembering the ones he had missed with Robert and Aaron when Ross had banned him from seeing them when he was living in Liverpool with his mother but all that had changed when he had turned ten and decided he wanted to be Sebastian Robert Sugden Dingle not Sebastian Robert White and Ross had abandoned him in the rain and sleet in the middle of Bradford hoping he would have starved before Robert ever found him again but against the odds here he was happy safe and secure with the two people he loved along with the brother he swore to protect.

Later that day,

Robert jumped hearing his phone ringing and reached for it he pressed the green button seeing Niall's name on the screen then tried not to panic when he heard Kathy from Niall's riding stables inform him that Niall had fallen off his pony Lulu and was on his way to hospital with a suspected broken arm, Aaron saw the colour fade out of Robert's face and took the phone and thanked Kathy before hanging up and helping Robert who was starting to shake.

"Seb can you look after Tyson please Niall fell off Lulu and is on his way to hospital and we need to go be with him?." He called and Seb nodded "just go be with Ni we'll be fine here and waiting for when you get back." Seb replied.

Four and a half hours later the family returned home Niall's arm was broken and he had a appointment to return to the hospital fracture clinic on the Monday morning to have his full cast put on he was pale and sweaty and Seb knew that was from the shock of what had happened to him.

"Dad are you alright?." He asked seeing the slightly emotional state Robert was in then it dawned on him this was another father's Day spent in accident and emergency for both Robert and Aaron Seb had been there the previous year with a ruptured appendix.

"Oh Daddy come here." He said and wrapped his strong seventeen year old arms around Robert and hugged him tightly knowing Robert was in agony reliving that moment.

"He was so brave Seb.," Robert mumbled as tears flowed from his eyes and soaked into Sebs pale blue t shirt.

After a dinner of take away pizza and cola Aaron helped Niall get ready for bed and gave him some medicine to help him sleep comfortably, Seb was in his room playing quietly on his Xbox and Robert was laid on their bed reading quietly trying to calm down from a exhausting anxiety attack.

Robert looked up from his book as Aaron entered their bedroom and smiled sleepily at his strong husband.

"Thank you for being so amazing earlier when I couldn't be and for helping our son when he needed you most and when I couldn't." Robert said fiddling with the clasp on the bracelet that Niall had given him for father's Day it was a bi patterned charm bracelet and Robert loved it how Niall had managed to find something so special and so unique Robert would never know.

"He's going to be fine tonight will be hard on him and us but he should sleep through I gave him some of his painkiller elixer so he should be able to get some sleep at least." Aaron said and Robert nodded glad that Aaron had been there for all of it at the hospital when he couldn't be because he had fainted when he had seen the state of Niall's right arm.

Robert heard soft whines coming from outside their bedroom door and Aaron opened it to reveal Tyson carrying his teddy in his mouth and padding over to lay at Robert's feet as if he knew Robert needed him.

Aaron studied Robert's expression and realised he was stuck in his memories of Jack and how much he had wished he could've been at jack's funeral but he had been told to stay away.


	19. Kidney Pain Part 1 (Aaron).

Tuesday Morning 04.11 AM Master bedroom Bramble Cottage Emmerdale.

Aaron tossed and turned a few more times before finally giving up and sitting up his left hand immediately going to support his aching lower back he whimpered as white hot pain spasmed across his back right over his kidney area and tears sprang to his eyes he leaned gingerly across the bed and attempted to wake Robert who he knew would want to help him feel better.

Robert blinked sleepily up at Aaron in the pale light from Aaron's bedside table lamp and sat up once he had seen Aaron's pinched features and could hear his held in whimpers of pain.

Aaron then scrambled out of bed and grabbing the front of his trousers dived into the ensuite and Robert heard the sound of something hitting the tiles and sighed when Aaron appeared naked and sobbing.

"Oh sweetheart." Robert said getting out of bed and going over to comfort a now openly sobbing Aaron.

"I wee on the floor I didn't make it." Aaron sobbed looking at Robert with the expression of a kicked puppy.

"It's okay it doesn't matter baby I'll clean up in a moment my concern is you you're very pale Darlin."Robert said and Aaron just nodded he knew he looked like hell and if he was honest he felt like it too.

"Can I wear one of your pull ups?." Aaron asked quietly.

"Sure you can come on sweetheart let's get you sorted yeah?." Robert said taking Aaron's hand and managing to avoid Aaron's accident led him into the bathroom and cleaned him up and gave him some medicine for the pain and to bring his temperature down.


	20. Kidney Pain Part 2.

Robert settled back down beside a quietly snoring Aaron after cleaning up in the bathroom he was glad that both Seb and Niall had inherited his ability to sleep deeply and through anything he had washed the floor after mopping up most of Aaron's puddle, Aaron had taken a while to calm down as he expected Robert to hit him for making a mess because his previous boyfriend would have.

Aaron woke up at about six thirty when his painkillers had started to wear off and Robert smiled softly at him his eyebrows knitting together in worry when Aaron dived out of bed and into the bathroom Robert heard him crying softly as he emptied his bladder into the toilet and getting up went to comfort his suffering husband.

"It hurts so much." Aaron sobbed and Robert nodded "I know it does sweetheart I'll try and get you in at the doctor's this morning before I head off to London to that exam board meeting okay I'm sure your mum will take you won't she and I'll take Seb and Niall to school on my way to the station." Robert said suddenly Aaron whimpered and grabbed the front of his so far in used pull up.

"Hey it's okay that's why you're wearing them just let it go okay I'll change you straight away I promise." Robert said and Aaron sighed as he released a small squirt into the thirsty material hoping that was it but no another squirt then a small stream began to flow and Aaron closed his eyes he felt so ashamed men his age didn't have accidents or wear pull ups at least Robert had a reason he had no reason really unless you counted the intense pain around his kidneys.


End file.
